Many are familiar with the acronym, often pronounced “whif-um”, which stands for “What’s In It For Me?“. It’s a simple tool to place yourself in the shoes of the person you’re trying to understand better. Strong relationships are built on knowing each other. Think for just a second – wouldn’t you be more open to listening to someone if you knew they would try and honor your values?

WIFM is commonly thought about, in fact, it’s come up recently with at least a few clients.

What else would be important to know about someone else?

Have you heard of WIFM’s long-lost cousin?

It’s WAMI, “wah-mee”, or “What’s Against My Interests?” – another simple tool to place yourself in the shoes of someone else. This is the lesser-known of the two, and that could be a sign of something most people pay less attention to: understanding what someone may not like, and practicing restraint.

All tools can be used for multiple purposes. Some may say that WIFM & WAMI are only used in Sales or Marketing, or for building a pitch to persuade someone. But these simple tools can be a great way to learn empathy more, and maybe more importantly they’re a signal to pause, practice restraint, and put your own interests aside.

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Here are a few resources worth checking out, that I’ve been sharing with clients lately:

1 // Is empathy a skill we’re either born with or something we can cultivate? (39 min podcast)

2 // Butting heads with a team member? Here are a few options to try. (2 min read)

3 // “The future of work is creating psychological togetherness.” (5 min read)

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